Family Ties

Family means a lot of things to a lot of people. I bore witness to many family interactions this weekend with the passing of FMD’s grandfather. For starters, I can tell you from my own point of view, it was important for me just to be with FMD’s family because I’ve really only known them for a couple of years. This experience helped me understand family dynamics and just learn a little more about everyone.

PD was steadfast and really tried to be there for everyone. He was there as the family’s leader even though it was his father that passed away. Though he didn’t show it readily, his emotions were worn on his sleeve and his mind seemed to be in a blender. Too many things from too many directions… Its tough losing a loved one, especially a parent. He has a daunting task ahead of him taking up the helm where his father left off and for that, I wish him the best of luck and any support I can give him.

PB took on the supportive role. Not necessarily in the “there for you role” (more on that in a bit) but in the “things needed to get done” role. Dinners for the family are tough to put together when everyone is on the run usually, but coordinating things for 10, 20, 30+ people can be testing. PB handled it in stride. She seemed uncomfortable in the “there for you” role though. No one really included her on decisions and asked her opinion. She didn’t seem to know how to handle people’s emotions because the way she deals with things is far different from others in the family. I felt she was there with me, learning more about the family she’d known for most of her life.

PLM was the family’s rationalizer. As a nurse, she lead the family during a troubling time this weekend affirming that things happen for a reason and that the way things played out couldn’t have and shouldn’t have happened any differently. She, in my opinion, viewed the whole thing from a very subjective view and that view was her way of dealing with these issues. I’m happy she could be there to provide comfort to her family from a way that no one else really could.

PSK and FMD just were there for the family. I’m unclear as what their family “role” is in situations like this, but I liken them to pouring sand in a jar of rocks. They fill in the gaps between the rocks and make things more solid.

I was happy to be a part of such an event, even though it happened to be the death of a loved one. PLCS will be missed by everyone who knew him, whether it was for 86 years or just a few months. My heart is with my wife’s family and I offer to them my deepest sympathies. Please know that if there is anything I can do to help out, I’ll be there for you…